《Chris Diary》（2）
Maybe it was
the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who
were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and
waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I
knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way
here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes
staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.
But reality
struck again, I said to her coldly, “Let’s go try the
other train station.”
We were living
in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of
us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies,
and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn’t know I would
end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the
last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep
feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed
for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take
the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept
the treasured relationship.
大概是因为下雨的原因吧，乘火车的人特别多。人们都撑着雨伞，提着箱子，都想匆匆地赶回家，根本没有注意到周围的人。我们等了又等，她无辜地看着我，我们在一起相处了很长时间，我当然知道她的用意。在这种天气她一路走来来到这里，我却那样对她，我自然了解她的感受。她用温柔的眼神注视着我，让我有一种罪恶感，真想让她留下来过夜。
然而，现实再次次袭击而来，我冷酷地对她说：“我们去其他火车站看看吧。”
我们曾经都住在同一套公寓的同一楼层。当时就我们四个人，大家在一起相处得很好。我们在一起吃晚餐，看电影，还有什么野营之类的事。我们就像一家人，但我却没想到自己最后会爱上我们中惟一的一个女孩。也许，是在大学的最后一年，在一起生活了两年之后，我们彼此之间才有了深厚的感情。毕业之后，她回家了，而我又继续呆了一年以完成学业。在那一年，我只能在假期乘火车去她家看她，但是呆在一起的时间总是很短。我们就是这样保持我们宝贵的情感。
We were walking
along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her.
Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying
her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or
whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars
passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for
her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed
by the park where we use to always go.
She begged and
said, “Lets go in the park just for a little while
please, I promise I’ll go home right after this.”
With her
begging, my cold heart softened, but I still put up an annoyed face and walked
in the park. I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave.
She went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something. I knew she was
looking for what we wrote on that tree with a silver ink pen half a year ago.
If I remember it right, it said, “Chris and Susan was here, Chris had tea and
Susan was drinking hot chocolate. Hope Chris and Susan would always remember
this day, always loving each other, forever.” She was looking around for quite
a while, then she came back slowly with tears on her face.
我们沿着公路慢慢走着。她在我的前面，我在她的后边。她的伞有个伞骨坏了。她看起来就像个受伤的士兵，挎着生锈的步枪有气无力地走着。很多次，不管她做什么事她都陷入沉思，在路上摇晃不定，差点都被驶过来的车给撞了。我本想去扶她一下，但是因为对她的爱和在我心头的痛，我没有那么做。在路上，我们路过了以前经常去的公园。
她乞求道：“我们去公园待会吧，我保证待会就回家。”
听到她的乞求的声音，我冷酷的心也开始变软了，可我却板着一副烦闷的脸。步入公园，我就坐在长凳上，摆出一付想要离开的样子。她走到大橡树下，好像在寻找什么东西。我知道她正在寻找我们半年前在橡树上用银色的钢笔写的字。如果我没记错的话，我们当时是这样写的：“克里斯和苏珊今天来到这里，克里斯在喝茶，苏珊喝着热巧克力。希望克里斯与苏珊永远记住今天，永远深爱彼此，永不分开。”她在周围找了一圈，然后眼含泪水地走了回来。
